Big Emotions? That’s Your Superpower!

I have a vivid memory of being in middle school and crying in front of my whole swim team. Big, snotty, red-faced, messy tears! And I was horrified.

It was the state finals, and I was so proud of myself for qualifying in my favorite event, the 100 Breastroke. I had worked hard all season and I finally made it! But honestly? I was so nervous that I could hardly eat or talk to my friends. All I could do was listen to my Walkman (kind of like you AirPods, but way less cool) and try to stay focused….or “locked in,” as you’d say!

When it was finally time to step up to the blocks, I was shaking like a leaf. I kept doing arm circles and bouncing around so no one would notice. I stepped up on the block. The announcer called, “Take your mark,” the beep went off, and I dove in. 

I felt fast!

I thought I was winning!

But then….I came in third place by hundredths of a second…with my worst time of the season! I was in shock. What?! How did that happen? I could barely climb out of the pool. By the time my teammates came to hug me, I was a crying, embarrassed mess. I ran straight into the locker room.

My coach came to find me. She couldn’t figure out why I was so upset. I made it to States, and in her eyes, I swam a good race! “You’re being too hard on yourself,” she said.

And what did I say?

“I know. I’m sorry.”

How many times have you apologized for your tears? As if emotions need permission to show up? How many times have you thought, or been told, that “you shouldn’t feel this way” ?

Over every big emotion throughout my life, I’ve asked myself a million times…

Am I crazy?

What’s wrong with me?

Here’s the truth…nothing was wrong with me! Emotions aren’t problems to solve!

When we’re angry, sad, frustrated, hurt, overly excited, or anxious, we’re simply being human! And being able to take those feelings, turn them into thoughts, and communicate them the way we do is what makes humans unique creatures!

Feelings aren’t flaws…they’re signals!

Maybe I’m angry because a boundary was crossed.

Or excited because I’m engaged in doing something I love.

Or anxious because I’m living in the future and need to bring myself back to the present.

That day? I was crying because I was disappointed. My expectations didn’t match what actually happened!

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Feelings are messengers. They don’t need to be dissected. They just need to be noticed.

When we apologize for our feelings or judge them, we start layering shame and guilt on top of the original feeling. And that just makes everything feel heavier.

Does this mean we act on every single feeling? No. It means we notice them and talk to ourselves like we’d talk to a friend.

“You’re human. Of course you're disappointed. You had high hopes for this race!”

Growing up, many of us are taught to suppress our feelings. I didn’t want to cry in front of my team because I was ashamed. And then, when my coach said I didn’t need to feel that way, I felt even worse.

What I really needed was space to feel…to accept my disappointment and then choose what to do next.

Would I sit with it, cry it out, and move on?

Would I make a new training plan and try again next season?

Or would I explore a new sport altogether?

What I didn’t need was to ignore my feelings or apologize for them. Because if we don’t allow ourselves to feel, we don’t respond in a way that truly fits us.

If I could go back, I’d let myself cry. I’d let my coach’s words sink in. I’d believe her when she said I did a good job. And once I was ready, I’d go cheer for my teammates and start planning for next year.

The thing is….having big emotions can actually be kind of a superpower. Think about it. If you feel deeply, it also means you care deeply, are full of love, stand up for what’s right, and notice things others might miss. 

Your sensitivity is what gives you empathy.

Your excitement can spark creativity.

Your anxiety can push you to think ahead and be ready.

Even your frustration or disappointment can push you to make changes and grow!

So, next time a big emotion bubbles up inside of you, don’t apologize for it or ignore it.

Notice it.

Feel it.

And let it teach you something.

Because your emotions aren’t problems to fix. They’re signals. Instead of asking, “Am I crazy for feeling this way?” try asking…What is this feeling telling me?

Listen.

And then decide what to do next.