Where Are Your Feet?

A while ago, I turned off all the notification sounds on my phone, my smartwatch, and even my computer. I didn’t realize how distracting all those little dings and buzzes were until they were gone.

I’d be trying to finish something important…work, a project, even just eating lunch….and ding, a sound would pull me out of the moment. I’d check my phone and somehow end up in a random group chat or scrolling through something totally unrelated. Suddenly, time disappeared, and whatever I was doing got pushed aside.

I began to also notice that when this happened, I’d finish whatever I was working on late. Sometimes I wouldn’t finish at all. And when I did finish, I’d be rushed and make silly mistakes.

Call it getting older if you want (I mean….I am in my late 40s), but I’ve started to realize I’m not great at multitasking. The world moves fast. There’s so much going on all the time:

Phone calls
Texts
Emails
Social media notifications

It all feels urgent. Like if I don’t respond or check it right away, I’m going to miss something. And before I know it, I’m not really “here” anymore. I’m off thinking about later today, tomorrow, or even months from now.

It’s like the world is constantly pulling us out of the present.

And don’t get me wrong….planning ahead is important. But sometimes it just feels like too much. There are days when I don’t even know what I’m doing an hour from now. How am I supposed to plan something for next summer?

We can’t totally escape how the world works, but we can decide how we want to show up in it….

Almost a year ago, I went to my daughter’s middle school Open House. It was the usual routine….walk the halls, meet the teachers, hear about the classes. But her science teacher said something I’ll never forget.

He didn’t spend much time on science facts or classroom rules. Instead, he talked about how overwhelmed kids can feel these days with friends, school, sports, and activities. He explained how important it is for the adults in their lives to show support. Then he said something like….

“If your child learns one thing in my class this year, I hope it’s how to be where their feet are.”

I’d heard that saying before. But at that moment, it hit me differently. It stuck with me. I’ve thought about it probably a hundred times since.

That night, I was so overwhelmed. I had a crazy day at work. I was worried about a friend. I was trying to coordinate my kids’ sports schedules. I was starving because I didn’t have time to eat and a giant to-do list was waiting for me at home. But that teacher reminded me….I can try to be where my feet are, too.

So what does that even mean?

Lots of people have talked or written about this idea. Jason Mraz and Christy Nockels wrote songs about it. Scott O’Neil, a big name in sports, even wrote a whole book called Be Where Your Feet Are.

To me, it’s a reminder that I’m usually not where my feet are. My body’s here, but my brain is somewhere else….thinking about stuff from the past or stressing about the future. Sometimes both at once.

When I’m stuck in the past, I replay mistakes. I think…

Why did I say that?
Why did they treat me like that?
Why didn’t I do better?

When I’m stuck in the future, I go into worry mode thinking…

What if something goes wrong?
What if I mess this up?
What if I forget something important?

But all that thinking? It just makes me feel more anxious. And I forget something important…. that right now is actually my life! The past is over. The future isn’t here yet. The only moment I have any control over is this one.

Can you relate?

     Honestly, it feels like the pressure is even more intense for teens and tweens. It’s constant and it’s exhausting. At school, you have to:

Keep track of assignments
Stay organized
Be ready for tests
Focus in every class

And outside of school you’re faced with….

Practices, games, rehearsals
Friend groups and social plans
Texts and notifications
Social media
Maybe even a job

Teens and Tweens aren’t alone! Most people? They’re not really present either. We’re all glued to our phones….even during dinner, at the beach, or hanging out with friends. (Yep, I do it too.)

So why are we all so attached to our screens? Why do we feel the need to respond right away?

I think it’s because we want to feel seen. We want connection. We want to feel like we matter. But the truth is… most of the time, we’re not actually connecting. We’re just reacting.

This week, I taught a class for teens and tweens called “Rest and Reset.” Through this class, I tried to provide kids a space to slow down now that summer’s here. On the first day, we read a book called Mindful Monkey, Happy Panda by Lauren Alderfer. In it, Panda tells Monkey:

“True happiness comes from bringing all your attention to whatever you are doing right now.”

That’s it!
That’s the secret!
Be where your feet are.

When I’m with someone I care about, I want to actually be with them. Not half-listening while texting someone else. Not daydreaming about next week. Just there….laughing, listening, and enjoying the moment.

When I’m working, I want to give it my full attention so I don’t have to redo things or rush to catch up.

Some people call this “being mindful.” And I think that’s exactly right. Instead of being mind-full of everything at once, we’re filling our minds with what’s happening right here and right now.

Is it easy? Not at all.
Does it take practice? Yep.
Is it worth it? 100%.

So how do you do it?

Step 1: Notice when you’re not present.
Step 2: Remind yourself….be where your feet are.
Step 3: Keep trying. You don’t have to be perfect.

You’ve totally got this!

And like Christy Nockels sings….

“We’re made to be right here together, in this together.
So slow down and take in the moment,
‘Cause everything is gonna be alright. I know it.
So just be where your feet are.”